Aderonke's Dilemma (Episode 8)

                       BLEMISH..............

Whenever I think how far I've come, I can't help but thank God. Here I am, educationally fulfilled, financially stable, socially known and tastefully beautiful. I'm not exaggerating... I am really a self made woman. I work in one of the best companies in Abuja, drive the latest rides, live in an artisticular furnished apartment and getting married to a lovely man in a few months time. What more can a person this fulfilled be asking for?? But like we know, humans need is insatiable. I want just one thing which is to be able to "redo my past". It is true that the past can't make us but the future also can't heal such blemishes left from the past. 

A beggar girl particularly reminds me of my ugly past. I usually see her from the 4th floor of my office building. Nothing particularly astounds me about this girl but the fact that she looks so much like me!! Acts the way I did when I was her age! I would have called this impossible but it might be possible that she's mine. She should be about 8years old and calculating from the time I made that mistake, i should be accurate!  You must be wondering how is it I doubt if a beggar girl is mine or not.

Growing up, we make so many mistakes. Youthful exuberance always pushes us to try even the most dangerous of adventures. There is a void always seeking to be filled with knowledge thereby invoking unhealthy curiosity which was what pushed me to taking the wrong step. It happened when I was processing my admission. I had a boyfriend then who always tries to convince me how sex creates an inseverable bond and one of such days, I gave in to him. I guess I wasn't so lucky as I got pregnant just after my virginity was taken. 

I hid it from my parents for two months and I was just lucky bcoz school resumed just when it was trying to become obvious. I got into a two-man room in school. I wear bogus clothes to cover my ever growing tummy. I refused to make friends and hardly attend lectures but I read like there's no tomorrow to make up for it. It finally clocked 9months and I was taking a stroll one night when I felt the baby coming. I entered an enclosed place in the field I was and gave birth. I fought the temptation to take a peek at my child before I would be tempted to take it home. I hurriedly wrapped it in a newspaper I saw nearby so mosquito won't eat it, left it there and ran away. 

I cried for months and even years weeping for the innocent baby I brought to the world and couldn't take care of. I'm the most horrible mother in the world. Do I even deserve to be called a mother?? NO! I was glued to the television for a month after the delivery to at least hear the news about an abandoned baby but none came! I thought it must have died. I didn't even know what gender it is. All this happened 8years ago! Now this beggar girl kept playing with other beggar children outside my workplace invoking my curiosity and reminding me of the gruesome things I had done. Could this have been fate?? Each time I try to engage her in a conversation she would run away....

My chance came on this particular day when an okada rider hit one of the beggar children. It happened to be my lookalike. No one tried to take her to the hospital even the adult beggars on the street. I sprinted from my office to the street and hailed a taxi to take us to the hospital. After making sure she was admitted, I went back to the other beggars to inquire about her parents. What they said almost made me crumble.  They claimed to pick her as a newborn on the road and raised her as their own. That's all I need to hear!! I sprinted to the hospital and asked the doctor to conduct a DNA to confirm my suspicions.....and....................

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She was MINE!!!

My blemish almost left a ugly scar but it turned out to be the beautification for its spot!

God kept my baby alive to give me a second chance at being a good mother and redeeming my once ugly blemish...... Not everyone has this grace so we should all watch what we do now so we don't regret later

(This is a true life account of a dear friend who asked me to write about her to pass a lesson across to youths worldwide)